Lesson learned March 27, 2009

 

“This won’t take long, I just wanted to …” she stated softly. 

It was half an hour before magrib and the phone rang. I had just starting browning the ground beef for the tacos and was running back and forth between the kitchen and the phone.  We had just spoken to each other  earlier that day and in passing she mentioned something about a mutual friend. That was basically the jest of the conversation.

SubhannaAllah, a conversation simple and commonplace, yet holding such understated importance. 

She said she wanted to apologize for involving me in her shortcoming of complaining about another believer.  As believers we have to be reminders for each other.  Masha’Allah as soon as she apologized it made me think wow maybe I should apologize too, was I wrong for listening?

Maybe if we actually picture ourselves actually biting that person or think what if we were sitting by and watching passively as someone had their flesh eaten maybe it could help us be stronger and say let’s stop right now before things go any further.

 Some of the lessons I learned here:  

1. No one is perfect, yet the best of us are those who uphold righteous behavior. This is an excellent  example of how to implement this in our daily living. One of the bests way for us to improve ourselves is to self critique (within reason) and increase in the things that will bring us closer to Allah and to decrease in those that will not. 
2. Admitting a mistake not only helps you learn but it helps others as well.When this sister (whom I already admired for her adab/character) MashaAllah, called and apologized to me, it reminded me that I too as a listener had a responsibility as well.
3. Passive backbiting and gossiping is still a sin. How many times have we made the excuse of just listening to someone vent? Is this a valid excuse? Honestly it varies on the situation however if there is no solution to be sought by speaking to another person about the problem or situation then most times it doesn’t lead to much more than backbiting and gossip.

So yes, I was wrong for listening and even more wrong for adding any comments to the conversation. A simple good deed can lead us down the path to paradise and a simple bad deed can lead us towards the hellfire.  May we all be led to the paradise. Amin.

Oh and alhumdullilah I did learn one more thing, later in the week when I was in a similar situation I was able to say let’s stop before we go any further! So alhumdulillah, I learned from that mistake. 

May Allah bless that sister for being courageous enough to stand up and declare truth even against herself. She is an example for many.

As Muslims when we say the shahadah we are accepting an amanah with Allah (swt) that we will not intentionally harm our brother or sister Muslim and that we will uphold upright behavior. GOSSIP and BACKBITING hurts in this life and the next. It does not build or strengthen our sisterhood or our ummah. May Allah forgive us all and help us all to change ourselves. Let’s strive to implement this oft-repeated ayat of Quran:

Q:13:11

Verily never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change it themselves.

May we all be helpers to one another in the path and way of Allah!

 

Commit to a lifetime of learning!

Teacher~Tamara

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